BANANA MEMORIES
Mommy: “What else do we need?
”Harriet: “Bananas!”
Mommy: “I thought we just got some?!”
Harriet: “No, we don’t even have one little shred of a memory of a banana left!”
HONESTY
Mommy: “What are you building, Wally?”
(long pause)
Mommy: “Are you going to tell me? Or is it a mystery to me?”
Wally: “No, it’s a mystery to ME!”
O MY CHILD, I CANNOT
“Why do I always do the WRONG THINGS? I don’t want to, I know it’s wrong, I think I shouldn’t do it, and then I DO! Can you help me, Mommy?”
–Harriet
CORROBORATIVE DETAIL
Looking at some prints of Rembrandt paintings hung on the playroom walls–
Daddy: Let’s look at these paintings, Wally.
Wally: Mommy and I painted those.
Daddy, laughing: Are you sure about that?
Wally: Be careful, Daddy. They’re still wet!
SCIENCE LESSON
Mommy, at the dinner table: “Harriet, you’re eating that like a lion. Could you eat it more like a little girl?”
Wally, suddenly: “Lions eat with their hands. Lions eat with their claws!”
Mommy: “What do they eat, Wally?”
Wally: “They eat meat. They eat Africa meat! And they like chicken bones.”
HE MEANT RUDOLPH
“Hey, can we watch Nosey the Reindeer?”
–Hugh
THE RELUCTANT SOLDIER
“This guy doesn’t fight. He just picks blueberries.”
–Walter, playing plastic armymen with his daddy
DELAYED INEVITABLE
Mommy: “Could you please get down from there, Wally?”
Wally: “I’m not Wally, I’m Batman.”
Mommy: “Okay, could you get down from there, Batman?”
Wally: “No, I’m Robin, I’m Robin.”
Mommy: “Could you please get down from there, Robin?”
Wally: “No!”
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I learned how to read on that book! And now I’m an English major, so I guess it worked . . . 😉