Since July of 2010 I’ve posted on this blog 614 times. I started for three reasons–as a place to share more about our transitory, hop-around lives with those that know us, as a creative outlet, and to work on writing in an authentic way. The last reason was the real kick that got me started. I was tired of writing in my head or writing journals, reflecting and then forgetting. I wanted to write something that someone would read.
Over time, as that began to happen, I found another reason to blog. Writing-just-to-write began to seem very empty compared to writing things that may be relevant or in some way encouraging to others. Perhaps that’s really what prodded me to start in the first place; perhaps by naming this collection Part of the Main I was trying to get at something far better expressed by John Donne centuries past–we are all parts of the one big whole of human experience; intentionally or unintentionally in our lives and deaths and struggles and joys we present an unfolding story written by God, the original Author. The one who made every one of us in his image.
I’ve just had a look at the categories I’ve written about. There’s plenty of rubbish about food and who knows what, but far and away my dominant topic has been Being Mommy. That’s really the story of my last six years, this massive transition from being whoever-I-was-before (can’t remember, really) to the Mommy in this family. It’s changed me in ways permanent and profound. It’s a part of who I am now in a way I could never have imagined before a wrinkly, little, red Norah was placed in my arms yelling her pointy head off in 2008. And, while I know there’s other work for me to do, other parts of who I am, my role in this family as Alex’s wife and the mother of my children has proven the biggest and most fulfilling challenge of my life. I’ve failed at it, struggled with it, rejoiced in it, learned about it, loved it, and tackled it for going on six years. It’s been most of my part of the main.
I’m still there. I think I’ll always be there, reflecting on and considering my life in light of motherhood, which is an inseparable and indispensable part of it. But there’s more going on here. We’re a pre-field family, about to depart for places far-flung and different. On this mom-blog I’ve kept a pretty solid silence about that part of my part of the main. Sometimes this silence has made it hard to write the posts I really feel stirring, bits of our journey or things God has done for us that I’d really like to sing about.
When we move overseas, I’m not even certain I can continue in this venue. I think a new mode may become necessary, devoid of names and details–disconnected from this collection. If I do continue writing, I plan to write more about our family’s journey in light of what God is leading us to do. I’d like to write as I learn more about other peoples in other places and thus learn more about the God who made us all to reflect his glory. It may not be your cup of tea, dear reader. At any rate it won’t be the same one. Thank you for reading all of this time, for receiving what I’ve placed here and for participating in this site. I’m grateful for you: I’m grateful for each friendship brought to me in this unexpected way and each interaction. (Except the lady who keeps spamming me about diet pills, struggling to be grateful for her.)
Just a word about the long silences. And a heads up: change is coming.