only three and half hours now, Sweetie

This morning the sky in rural Connecticut is soft and gray, the breezes are cool, and the birdsong has been steady since four a.m. We are delighted to be here.

One never contemplates a journey over the Atlantic with little children without some measure of trepidation. Yet even my worst imaginings, had they actually come to pass, would have been cake compared to the reality.

In many ways, the details came together perfectly. We left the flat ready for our return, packed even lighter than I’d hoped and a friend offered to drive us in his car to Heathrow, thus sparing us two bus rides and a walk across town with all of our luggage. The girls sat quietly in a double umbrella stroller all through check-in, eating plums and staring at the people. Our plane was not delayed, and no one peed in awkward or unexpected places.

But just before we boarded the plane I began to feel very unwell indeed. It may interest Americans to know that in England, “ill” is usually the term. To be “sick” generally refers to vomiting. It is in the English sense that I use it now. I was violently sick seven times on the flight. I huddled in my hot, stuffy plane seat, worried about the baby (the unborn one) and shaking convulsively. Alex, meanwhile, (henceforward in this post to be referred to as “The Hero”) coped with me, the plane medic, and two tired and uncomfortable children (the flight was from about five to eleven p.m. their time). In the weird way that time is completely relative it was the longest flight of my life, and I’ve flown to China and back. After about a month of it I asked The Hero how long until landing. “Only three and half hours now, Sweetie.”

Then near the end, Norah finally fell asleep, curled up in her seat kitty-style. I knew she’d be crying and disoriented when she woke, and Harriet was already screaming on Alex’s lap. I was hot and sick and ready to cry with discomfort and irritation.

As we were landing Norah woke up. “We’re in America now, Norah!” I said, straining for a cheery voice. She stretched and smiled up at me. “Oh Mommy,” she said, “Aren’t we so blessed?”

And God, who is so good, was there: giving our family the rare-and-treasured opportunity to go home and see our loved ones, and giving me yet one more useful travel experience, such valuable training for my life. I lifted the round plastic window shade and the sunset blazed brightly into the cabin.

P.S. I think the baby is just fine. Apparently, I picked yesterday to come down with a flu bug, because Norah then had it throughout the night. We seem to be making our comeback now. We are tired–but happy.

Posted in America, In Transit | 3 Comments

a word about mommy guilt

We were still crunching our bagels when Norah asked if she could paint. I think it was Mommy Guilt that made me agree–after all, I’m probably way too regimented as a mother and my children will grow up with inflexible personalities if I am not careful. So I let her skip the next two steps of morning routine (getting dressed and helping out with the daily Tidy Up) and the paints were out by 8:02. I couldn’t supervise her as closely as I usually like to because I needed to change Harriet and do the dishes and so on. I felt vague Mommy Guilt about that, but after all painting is creative and I feel even more guilty about not having as many creative activities prepared this week due to a persistent and miserable chest infection and sinusitis. I’m probably crippling brain development, I thought and the names of mothers who seem never to lack creative activity options rolled through my head.

I washed the dishes and Harriet played in the living room. I thought Norah was painting but after a few minutes I went to admire and found her ripping up her paper and submerging it in her paint water, creating a slodge of painty wet mess that was somehow spread over a four-foot radius. We had a short talk about What Painting Is and What Painting Isn’t. At that moment, I heard a wet, slurpy sort of sound coming from the loo. I dashed around the corner and found Harriet in the act of dipping a toy tea cup into the toilet–for the second time. When she saw me in the doorway she threw the cup and splattered toilet water all over the walls and floor. What kind of a mother am I? asked my inner Guilt Goader. I allow my eighteen-month-old to refresh herself from the toilet. At least I haven’t taught her how to drink from an open cup yet: more of the first draught apparently landed on her shirt than in her mouth. She’ll probably get really sick from that.

I suggested to Harriet that this was not a good place to play, stripped her, wiped her down, and dropped her in her bed (pack & play) where she couldn’t get out. I then returned to the table and sopped up the painty mess. Norah was game to try What Painting Is instead, so I set her up with a big bowl of fresh water, some new paper, and fresh squirts of paint. Then I dressed Harriet and we hurried back to see how it was going. Norah had created a lovely picture–and added fire-engine red highlights to her hair. Despite the guilt, I decided painting time was over. As I began to gather the supplies for rinsing, Harriet reached up lightning-fast and grabbed the big bowl of thick, dark paint water and dumped it over her head and all over the floor. As I grabbed the drenched Harriet and dragged her back from the catastrophe, Norah leaped down from her chair and began to dance in the puddles, splattering painty drops everywhere. I stripped both girls, wiped them down, and plopped them in their beds. While I mopped up the mess my Guilt Goader had a hey-day. So much for a calm, clean, and orderly environment. It was 8:21.

Looking back I’d change just one thing: my own sinking feeling of defeat. (And I’d close the toilet lid.) May I suggest we’d all be better off if we could silence that little voice, refuse the temptation to make comparisons, and carry on doing our best?

 

 

Posted in Being Mommy | 4 Comments

Lately Said: According to Norah

{sigh} This was a tough post. I was determined to choose just 10 of my favorite quotations for this last collection of Norah-isms, but I compromised with just under 15. I hope they make you smile. 

April 2011
“Norah, let’s try on the potty, it’s time for lunch!”
“My name’s Felicity.”
“Oh, hi Felicity. Would you join us for lunch?”
“No, I’m Lydia.”
“Lydia, could you come try the potty before lunch?”
“Lydia can’t. Lydia’s not potty-twained.”

October 2011
Norah: I am not going to obey you. I will disobey. Oh, wait a minute–are you going to
discipline if I disobey?
Mommy: Yes.
Norah: Okay, I think I change my mind. I’m going to obey you, Mommy!

November 30, 2011
Stated firmly (out of the blue):
“I usually go piddle in my bath.”

December 1, 2011
“We are going to the Yibrary to get GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE LITTLE PIGS! I yove that story! I wead that story every day!”

December 4, 2011
Mommy to Daddy: “I’m taking Norah to the Sparklers Christmas party for children tomorrow.”
Norah: “Mommy, I’m sorry to say that I’m not a children. Today I am a child. Yes, I am a child actually but I am not children. Sometimes I am children but not today. No, not today. Today I am a child.”

December 12, 2011
Norah: Watch out, Mommy! I am a crocodile and I will eat you with my sharp teeth if you come near me!
Mommy: Then I won’t be able to un-buckle you from your seat, Norah, so I guess you’re stuck there.
Norah: I am a nice crocodile now! I never bite with my teeth.
Mommy: Sorry, I can’t come near, I’m too scared.
Norah: Okay, Mommy, now I am a crocodile with NO TEETH!

December 27, 2011
Mommy: How did this glue get all dug up? Did you dig your scissors into the glue stick, Norah?
Norah: It just happened.
Mommy: It didn’t just happen. Someone did it. What was that someone’s name, Norah?
Norah: I’ll just give you one hint. The someone has yellow hair!

December 29, 2011
Norah: Mommy, I just want you to know you shouldn’t pull out all the drawers of my dresser. It falls over if you do that. Be careful to not pull them or step on them, Honey, because it falls over.
Mommy: How do you know that, Norah?
Norah: Oh, I just . . . it’s because I just know that, Honey.

January 4, 2012
Stranger to Norah: “What’s your favorite color?”
(silence)
Mommy: “Her favorite color is pink, isn’t it, Norah?”
Norah: “Oh, no, my favorite color is blue. I’m sorry, Mommy. It changed right before my birthday. Silly me! I must have regot to tell you!”

February 9, 2012
(Norah to Harriet):
You’re my little Chocolate Bean! I’m calling you Chocolate Bean, Hewwet! Oh. Chocolate Bean, you smell very stinky. You are Stinky Chocolate Bean.

 

February 15, 2012
Mommy from the kitchen: Girls, where are you?
Norah: Me and Hewwet are in the hall!
Mommy: What are you doing?
Norah: We’re having so much fun toglether!
Mommy: But what are you doing?
Norah: We’re pouring water on Hewwet’s head!

 

February 29, 2012
“What you are drawing, Norah?”
“I’m drawing the Ashmolean.”
“The building?”
“No, not now. Now I’m drawing the Scratch-Poley-Ann.”
“What’s the Scratch-Poley-Ann?”
“Oh, it’s lovely, Honey. It’s even better. It’s my best place in Oxford.”

 

February 29, 2012
Mommy: Eat up, Norah. Here, let me build you a bite.
Norah: You can be Bob the Builder!
(pause)
Mommy: Norah, how do you know about “Bob the Builder”? You’ve never seen it!
Norah: I watched it at school.
Mommy: But you don’t go to school.
Norah: I know, Honey.

 

April 30, 2012
Norah: Mommy, I’m drawing you a picture of a baby.
Mommy: Great! I’m coming to see it.
Norah: Wait, it’s kind of looking like a sunshine. Yes, it’s a sunshine now. With legs.
Mommy: Sounds really interesting. I’ll be right there.
Norah: Oh, sorry, Mommy. It turned into a spider. Yes, it’s definitely a spider. Sorry.

Posted in My Little Girls | 3 Comments

Lately Said: Norah and God

February 2011
“Hold this. Be careful, it’s the Baby Jesus.”
–Norah, giving her dolly to my Hindu friend

April 2011
“Lazawus, come out!”
–Norah’s fork to Norah’s spoon, dinner table

May 2011
Daddy: Adam and Eve disobeyed God. Do you know what happened next, Norah?
Norah: They have paddle.

June 2011
“Up from the grave he arose, like a diamond in the sky . . . “
–a song medley by Norah

“Who took Corduroy Bear home in this story?”
“The little girl took him”
“And who found a button and sewed it on his overalls?”
“GOD did!”

August 2011
Norah in the bathtub:
“What’s that on your arm?”
“That’s beet juice. I was just peeling beets for dinner.”
“Don’t worry, Mommy. God will heal it. God is putting some special lotion on it. He’s rubbing it in!” (rubbing soap on my arm)

August 2011
To Mommy on the way to Rest Time:
“Oh, wait! I need to get all my childwen. They’re going in the manger. Oh, I re-got to tell you, you are Joseph, okay?”

October 2011
Norah: What’s that?
Daddy: That’s called the Martyr’s Memorial.
Norah: Who’s that?
Daddy: That’s Ridley, I think. They have a statue of him because he died there.
Norah: Did he die for our sins?

November 9, 2011
Norah (playing church):
“Okay, everyone can go now. WAIT! We re-got to have the SERMON! All the people needa come back here right NOW!”

December 1, 2011
Norah (adding into the prayer at Bible Time on Day 1 of Advent):
“And Jesus, we have a stable! But where’s the Baby Jesus?”

December 3, 2011
Showing the parts of her new nativity stable to her grandparents on Skype:
Mia: “And what’s that piece, Norah?”
Norah: “It’s hay . . . for the Baby Jesus to EAT!”

January 14, 2012
(!)
Norah: Oh, no. God made a mistake. He made a big mistake, I think.
Mommy: What do you mean?
Norah: God knew the lotion would get in my hair but he made my hair. Why did he make my hair if it gets lotion on it? I should have no hair, only skin!

January 30, 2012
Another song medley by Norah:
“I’m a little teapot . . . if you are, shout ‘Amen’! Amen!”

March 16, 2012
“Dear God, my mommy gave me a lovely new bracelet! And now I am so happy today. In Jesus’ name, Amen!” –Norah

March 17, 2012
Mommy (reading aloud): ‘The lion knew he had broken the rules. He turned and left the library.’
Norah: Did he try and hide his sin?

April 1, 2012: Palm Sunday
Norah, at the breakfast table: “Hawwet, weach up to the sky! Weach up to God! Hi, God, it’s us! Norah and Hawwet! Norah with the yellow hair and Hawwet with the brown hair!”

April 30, 2012
Mommy: The disciples were amazed that Jesus could calm the storm.
Norah: Was he too shy to tell them he was God?

Posted in My Little Girls | 1 Comment

Lately Said: Norah and Goat

Norah’s loyalty to her oldest friend continues at 3 1/2.

March 2011 “Goat and I are going to talk in my room. We need to go say sorry together.” –Norah

October 20, 2011
“What song do you want to sing tonight, Norah?”
“Goat wants to choose. Goat wants to sing, ‘I Will Call Upon the Gourd.”

“Goat’s changed into a little baby. He’s my little girl now.”

November 16, 2011
“Mommy, I needa ask you someting. Did you know you are the grandma of Goat? But I’m the mommy. I’m Baby Goat’s Mommy, aren’t I, Sweetie?”

January 24, 2012
Mommy (reading Green Eggs and Ham):
“Would you like them in a boat? Would you like them with a goat?”
Norah: Wait! He may NOT have my Goat!

February 27, 2012
Mommy hears hysterical sobbing and rushes in to Norah, in Rest Time:
“Norah! Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
Norah, crying hard: “All my animals and Goat are playing and I asked them if I could play too and they said NO!”

Posted in My Little Girls | 3 Comments

Lately Said: Norah and Her Daddy

In the side bar I like to write some of the things “Lately Said” around here that are making us giggle. These (and others that don’t make the blog) I save in our Family Dictionary of Words and Quotes for Future Enjoyment. I have received quite a few requests lately to compile these and share them so I decided to post some of these in groups. This is the first. Please do comment or share some quotables of your own!

February 2011
“Oooh, Daddy! You’re such a good little helper!”

April 2011
Daddy: Norah, I want you to please taste one bite.
Norah: I only will eat one bite if you pray to God.
Daddy: Dear God, please help Norah to obey Daddy. Amen.

August 2011
10:32 a.m. (Norah, looking out the window):
“Is Daddy home from work, do you think?”

October 13, 2011
(Norah, out of the blue at the dinner table):
“Excuse me, Daddy!”
“Yes, Norah?”
“When I gwow up into a gwown-up I am going to work at the Wadcliffe Camewa just yike you do, Daddy!”
“That will be great, Norah!” says Daddy, melting into a little puddle.

October 21, 2011
(Mommy and Daddy discussing borrowing a car)
Norah: Daddy you can use my car. I have a car, actually.
Daddy: Do you?
Norah: Yes, I have a pink one.

November 9, 2011
Norah: I needa put some makeup on you now, I think, Daddy.
Daddy: No, Norah. No makeup for Daddy. Daddies don’t wear makeup.
Norah: But I’m pretending you’re a lady.
Daddy: But I don’t want to pretend to be a lady!

November 21, 2011
(Norah at the breakfast table):
I can’t talk right now, because my mouth is very full. So if there’s anything you need to tell me I can’t answer you because I am full. So I will just listen, okay, and not be talking. You tell me if I disobey but I will not be able to talk to you, okay, Daddy?
Daddy: Yes, Norah, it’s very clear that you can’t talk right now.

January 10, 2012
Mommy (Making Conversation at the dinner table):
“If you could choose, would you rather go for a ride on a bicycle or go swimming?”
Norah, instantly: “Or grow a beard?”
Daddy: “I’d grow a beard.”
Norah, after a pause: “No, I think I’d go swimming.”

From the Mouths of Babes
January 2012 (and often, ever since):
Norah to Daddy: “Daddy, you’re not Daddy, you’re my Study-Dud!” (hysterical giggling)

March 11, 2012
Norah (calling from Rest Time): Mom-my! Dad-dy!
Daddy: What do you need Norah?
Norah (handing him a little booger): Here, I don’t need this anymore.

May 11, 2012
“Daddy, do you know what a Flingamom is? It’s a thing that swims down your throat and lands in your tummy and helps you to grow strong so you can push houses over.”  –Norah

Posted in My Little Girls | 1 Comment

two plus one is three

 I sat down to just rattle this one off and suddenly I feel so overwhelmed by the goodness of God in giving us our two precious children . . . and now one more on the way. We are expecting the newest little bundle around November 24, which means I’m 12 weeks today and the calmer seas of the second trimester are just ahead of us. The baby is about the size of an apple this week, and has fingernails, toenails, and tastebuds on a tiny tongue. Isn’t God’s creation of a person truly astounding?

We waited a bit to announce things this time, though we did tell the girls at Easter. I worried a little that Norah would spill the beans but I needn’t have. Even now that it’s okay to talk about it, if anyone asks her if our family has any news she comes out with “Oh! YES! We got some stickers with butterflies on them!” or the like. It’s hard to stay excited for one thing from April to November when there are so many, many things in the world worth thrilling over.

Harriet’s happy too as she is extremely maternal at this stage and the meticulous care of plastic baby dolls occupies much of her time and energy. She has been known to eat an entire biscuit with a baby doll on her lap, “feeding” Baby a bite before each one she takes, down to the last crumb. In the photo above we were at a hotel in Eastbourne and Harriet kept konking Baby’s head lovingly against the glass so as to afford her a better view. It’s a lucky baby that ends up with our Harriet. (Poor Harriet, soon to be a middle child.) I was a middle child myself and I don’t remember it being that bad. I think my older sister wanted to kill me at one point but fortunately I wasn’t old enough for this to make a big impression. I hear about it now in the oral tradition of family lore and it is impossible to tell, at this distance, where the fiction has ballooned from the facts. (I’m sure she was just being kind in an exuberant way.) I did like my little brother, though. Well, I do remember having mixed feelings at times as a child, but I certainly like him now. I have for a long time. So that’s all right.

Are we ready for a third child? Baby should arrive two weeks after Harriet turns 2 and a week before Norah finally makes it to 4. That sounds like a lot of youngness to me right now. But I wouldn’t change a single thing.

Oh yes, and do we want a girl or do we want a boy. Yes.

Posted in Being Mommy | 10 Comments

big sister

Posted in Being Mommy, Events | 23 Comments

Bath, part IV: the Abbey

On our first afternoon in Bath Alex and I walked into the Bath Abbey. As we approached I was expecting to see just another really-old-church. Don’t get me wrong: I was excited about this. I love these huge stone caverns of worship with their meticulous carvings and colored glass and the echoing hymns of a long-ago people. And the Abbey was all of that. But, like Tintern Abbey, it was also one of the most amazing and meaningful experiences I’ve had in England.

We entered a side door and left the small entry-donation with a friendly staff of Abbey volunteers. Then we stepped into the breathtaking expanse of the Abbey nave. The stone ceiling soars far above and is probably the first thing I noticed. The second thing was four words on a tourist flyer that I read over Alex’s shoulder. Both of them struck me with a mood-changing sense of reverence.

Do you see it? The first relevant event in the history of the Abbey is listed as the birth of Jesus Christ. I have wandered through dozens of beautiful churches and chapels in the last two years and I have yet to see one that credits its existence to the life of Jesus. The flyer also described the Abbey as a living church and place of worship, and stated in simple terms who Jesus Christ is and what he came to do. It concluded with these words: The message of the good news about Jesus is the reason this Abbey exists. More importantly, it is the reason why all over the world there are Christians who know what it means to meet the living Jesus, and who believe that he alone has the key to human life.

Many people will enter abbeys and churches and cathedrals this year because they are interested in the architecture. But some will enter, maybe as a shot in the dark, because they are looking for God. I hope these will come to Bath.

While we were there, a retired vicar asked for stillness and spoke the daily prayers for the church and the world. This was wonderful.

I wish we had also been able to hear the spectacular organ in the north transept. One of my favorite things in these old churches is when we stumble upon organ practice.

The walls of the nave and the apse held many spectacular colored-glass windows illustrating scenes from the New Testament. Especially stunning was the east end, which held a massive window with 56 scenes from the life of Christ. I wish we had been to Bath just a few weeks earlier, so I could have illustrated the Easter readings with these images.

During our visit we learned that it was possible to climb the 49-meter tower with a guide, so we returned to the Abbey the next day. The climb was 212 steps in a narrow stone tube that looked like this:

Most of the way up there was a chance to enter another tower and get a glimpse of where we were headed:

The guides took us into the ringing chamber below the bells where we saw the bell ropes and learned about bell ringing. (I immediately started itching to re-re-read Sayers’ The Nine Tailors.) We saw the Victorian-era equipment for sounding the bells and playing hymns from the tower.

We then climbed up farther and entered the bell chamber itself. The bells did not ring while we were admiring them, but the guide had me just strike one with a hammer and the sound reverberated off the walls with incredible volume.

We even had an opportunity to crawl in and sit behind the face of the tower clock. It was absolutely fascinating. The guide said the clock face used to be lit by men sitting behind it in this chamber with a candle, taking it in two shifts through the night. There are now flourescent bulbs.

One other thing we saw that was a bit of a heart-pounder: there are small round openings drilled through the Abbey nave’s spectacular English gothic ceiling, probably to lift scaffolding during the building or restoration process. One can still peer down into the Abbey far below through these tiny holes. The bell ringers use them now for weddings–so as to know when the bride and groom are ready to walk down the aisle.

And finally, we reached the top of the tower itself, and enjoyed a lovely view of historic Bath through the drizzle.

The images of the Bath Abbey will be with me for a long, long time.

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a garden of bright images

Norah and I finally got the garden in last week. We have a bit less variety this year but we were operating with a limited budget: so far we’ve spent just £8.

The back wall of our garden is sort of a nod to England–we have climbing roses, lavender, heather, and ivy all thriving. The roses started putting out new shoots in February! They are climbing up the study window and there is one little bud promising color to come.

We’ve put white petunias and blue lobelias in the hanging basket and added pink star geraniums to the herbs growing in the railing boxes. (Norah’s choice, her passion for pink continues.)

Everything’s out there growing silently and increasing in loveliness. If you live in Oxford, come by and we’ll sit out there for a chat. I’ll bake.

Posted in Keep House and Carry On | Leave a comment